we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
