Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
