i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
