i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
