If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
