who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
