I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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