she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
