Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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