I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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