9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
