you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
