Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
