these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
