Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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