Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
