he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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