The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
