Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
