return my video game
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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