Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
