shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
