Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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