I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He shit in the fireplace
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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