They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My penis needs a shock collar
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
