it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
