Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
