When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
