You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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