Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
this is an emotional support booty call
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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