even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
