Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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