She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
