ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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