im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
