We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
