You're my little dorito
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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