I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
