Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
