I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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