woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your penis caused this!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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