so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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