I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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