Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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