Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
