I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
