we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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