i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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