Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
