I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
