he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
