Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
