you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
